Sun Kissed Days

Sun Kissed Days

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Forgiveness and The Long Way Home

I had a red shinny tricycle,
but never a bicycle.
I dreamt of riding free,
in a yellow lemon dress,
flying down the hill
with the wind caressing my hair.
Dad feared I would fall
and I would hurt myself.
So I didn't fly until years later,
when I ran away,
no longer accepting to be sheltered
from the storms of life.
I left with a plane ticket,
the clothes on my back,
and a dream in my eyes.
My purse stuffed with family photographs
that I treasured,
memories of what I was leaving behind.
No money
or plans,
the man sitting next to me spoke
about pre Colombian  art,
puzzled, he watched the stars in my eyes.
My life was waiting,
forbidden love,
youth, brilliant and reckless.
Seduced by a freedom fighter,
not knowing he worshiped methadone,
hidden away in the refrigerator.
When John Lennon was shot
I still believed in the change that never came.
I battled his demons
and lost.
Broken dreams and promises.
I woke up one day and walked
away with my soul battered
but not defeated.
I walked away 
and opened new doors
and dreamt new dreams
fire in my soul
the wind on my back.


  1. I am glad you walked away and found your voice and your own journey ~

    You are one brave woman Ayala ~


  2. some way we all cleave from our parents and have to learn to fly on our own...and we each take different ways...i loved riding a bike...and life takes some interesting turns...and we have to keep learning to fly...

  3. You never lost yourself. And you just kept dreaming & opening doors. This is a strong poem, Ayala.

  4. Strong indeed and you lay out the facts the important ones that really brought you to be even stronger and to feel that wind that your heart longs for from the the cyclical open/close...thank you.

  5. I do love the ending of this - all the cynicism mixed with hope and adventure, but oh, the ending. Wonderful. and I just love your banner. :-)
    aka Kanzensakura

  6. It takes a strong person to walk away open new doors.

  7. This speaks to me, and FOR me!

    ALOHA from Honolulu

  8. Wow, this is such a powerful and inspirational confession. "I battled his demons and lost"--that's how it ends when we battle demons that are not ours, unfortunately.....but the victory was yours in the end when you walked away, "fire in my soul, the wind on my back"---what a triumphant way to end this. Brilliant!!

  9. on our search to freedom we don't always find it immediately... glad you managed to walk away and found happiness

  10. I think there are several good wisdoms to learn.. The wings should be tested before you should fly.. And then when the battle is lost it's better to run before it's to late. So glad you made it through, but the process was tough.

  11. What innocent times were those indeed.................

  12. This is beautifully written. I can see your heart. Glad you struggled but made it through. Growing up is hard, and harder for some. Thank you for sharing this personal poem.

  13. Sometimes walking away poses risks, but it gives rise to discovering our strength. I love the undercurrent of adventure, freedom, regret and discovery in your poem, Ayala. Missed your words. Welcome back. xo

  14. I'm glad you got free to dream new dreams, wind at your back, Ayala. A good place to be~

  15. Beautifully written, Ayala. So good you flew when you did. Your sould seems to be in wonderful shape these days. xx

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  17. Such a brilliant poem Ayala. I could feel you heart in each line and I am going for reread again. Dream and broken hearts, both needs a lot of courage to walk with and you did. Ayala, I am your fan now. :)

  18. This is a beautiful and brave poem.

  19. I'm so glad you found your own wings and balance, no wheels required. Thank you for this beautifully vulnerable poem.

  20. I can feel your deep emotions by reading these words. Forgiveness has always been my issue. Thank God for His grace, I'm now able to save that I have forgiven other people and myself. :)

    So powerful.