Sun Kissed Days

Sun Kissed Days

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Your beating Heart

The black bird carried a twig
to the nest,
the shimmering light reflected
over the lake.
Spring entered our home
and our subconscious,
yet I have not stopped 
to welcome the sounds of the 
earth awakening
dreamily stretching
like a ballerina executing 
a pirouette. 
I've been nourishing
and nurturing
those that I love.
I have been sadder 
than they can understand
and stronger than I can comprehend
I have been living in the past
more than in the moment,
feeling the helplessness
of how time floats through
my hands and my days.
Moments that we can't get more of,
days once wasted lost and gone.
I've been stretching my limbs,
my mind diluted.
the wind whispers in my ear,
"You are strong"
it says.
I scream,
"Have you not seen my tears,
heard my defeat,
felt the weakness of my wounds".
I run through the torrents of rain
listening to the uplifting guidance,
longing to hear
the sound of your beating heart..   

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

A piece of ourselves


The sun honey colored
 and brazen
gleamed through the door as he entered
clutching bouquets of flowers.
Daisies, Lillis,Ginger
wild and beautiful.
I reached out for one,
the thorns of the rose
pierced my skin,
reminding me that life
was not always this way,
soft and loud with beauty.
The flower guy
was away in a mountain cabin
 writing his first novel.
I smile 
understanding the struggle of
bleeding unto the page,
pouring our fears,
unveiling our truth,
weaving our words.
How softly we click on
the keys of our devices 
writing feverishly.
Our minds holding boulders,
in the trenches of our thoughts,
fearful to leave on the page
more of ourselves than 
we intended to.
I trim the flowers
on a slant,
place them in the 
green and white crystal vase.
I cut my words
into shattered pieces of myself,
I place them on the page,
quickly I
erase and
start over. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2016


I forgave her for lying
and trying to steal my soul.
I forgave her for bringing storms
into my days,
uncertainty in my steps,
and darkness in my hours.
I forgave her,
the sister I never had,
the confidante of secrets.
I brought her in from the rain,
from a past,
embraced her brokenness
unaware of her bite.
She loved me,
betrayed me,
said it was her illness. 
She took my heart,
sliced it open
watched me bleed
as she stood motionless.
I saw her photograph
on the internet,
her eyes haunted,
a scar on her forehead,
a ghost of yesterday.
It was not her words attempting
to crawl back into the place
she ravaged.
It was not her pleading voice
on the answering machine.
I forgave her
to crawl out of the gutter
she placed us in.
I forgave her as I battled
drowning in the outgoing tide.
I forgave her 
to forgive myself.

This poem was inspired by my friend Aidan Donnelley Rowley's new book The Ramblers. One of the protagonist had a mother with bipolar disorder. There was someone close in my life that was bipolar and ended up hurting me while claiming her love. She was family and it was hard. Aidan's book is beautifully written. You can find it here It is so many things more than this, and it's about the questions of life and the struggles that we go through only to be end up better and wiser because of the journey. I recommend The Ramblers and I hope you pick up a copy today.