Unwanted

I don't remember if the Palm fronds

swayed outside the window.

I don't remember

what day it was.

Her words spilled like

salt grains,

without reservation or anticipation

nor regret.

Her words froze

in mid air

and as they melted 

into my consciousness 

I looked into her eyes

to recognize a glimmer of regret.

It was simple
laid out

for me to examine and explore.

She was not going to keep me

she was not
going to give me life.

I was a pawn in life's chess game,

sour slices of memory seared

my being and

floated to the surface.

I remember the hollow feeling,

the feverish way

my skin tingled

as it broke into a rash.

She loved me,

as I digested

her words

I wondered

if she could ever understand

how she altered my world.

If I had not lived
 what would her

snow globes look like,

dark with slush

or shimmering with light.

She would not have known
 a daughter's 

love

nor gentle words in which she 

cradled life.
I held her hand when she took
her last breath,
she never understood
why her words pieced my soul.
She never understood how she altered
my world.