Sun Kissed Days

Sun Kissed Days

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Forever Love-Three Years Today

It was a joyous celebration,
a graduation,
of my son.
I waited four years for this
proud moment.
I imagined sitting at
Duke University Chapel,
watching the sun enter magically
through the stained glass windows.
That week, I felt like I could not breathe.
My being was in an unexplainable fog,
detouring the happiness I was feeling.
At the airport,
as we waited for the flight,
the cell phone rang.
I thought it was a congratulations call
from my brother.
His voice was heavy and dark,
as he told me our dad died.
He took a nap and he never awakened.
That was today,
three years ago.
I have cried an ocean of tears,
the dance of my life never the same.
My dreams saturated with pain,
my being forever longing for my dad. 


  1. Oh you and your soulful writing.

    You never fail to bring me chills.

    I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    Thank you for the glimpse into your story.


  2. I am so sorry for your loss. That is a beautiful picture!

  3. Can. not. imagine.
    Brave and beautiful.

  4. ((ayala)) i was sitting at the feet of my MIL when she rattled her last hard as it was i can not imagine receiving it on the phone...

  5. Thank you,Caroline. I love that picture!

  6. Brian, I watched my mom take her last breath-that was indescribable. I feel sad for my son because he graduated without us being there. It was supposed to be such a joyous day for him and it became a nightmare. He was very close to my dad. He drove home 12 hours after receiving his diploma to catch a flight to Israel. My dad wished to be buried there.

  7. into your glimpse, my heart opened to a world I experienced 8yrs ago. First my father then 20 days later, mom. Indescribable and yet a blessing for their burdens were lifted that day.

    we can never pick the perfect time to loose someone so valued and loved. I am sorry to hear of yours and your family's loss.

    thank you for sharing this with such dignity and grace!

    beautiful photo!

  8. This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

  9. A beautiful photo of you and your father, Ayala.

    This post made me think of the fact that my maternal grandmother died on my birthday; something I only think of briefly when that day rolls around.

  10. Hope, I am so sorry for your loss. Twenty days later it's just heartbreaking. So sorry.

  11. Thank you, Belinda. It's one of my favorite photos of my dad and I.
    I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine
    how you must have felt to lose your grandmother on your birthday. Sorry.

  12. I echo Belinda. This is a lovely photo of you and your father.

    Such heartbreaking loss Ayala. It really never gets any easier. But we remember them in our writing in hopes to relieve some of that pain.
    xoxo to you.

  13. Thank you,Rudri. Yesterday was a hard day. It doesn't get better but you are right it helps to remember and honor their memory.

  14. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. You always think it;s going to get easier, and it never does. You bear it, but it hurts. It always hurts. Wishing you peace, Ayala.

  15. Thank you, Rudri. I did reply to your comment but it vanished while blogger was down. I said that we both share this ache and we write to honor them . xoxo

  16. Stacia, thank you for your words of comfort. I appreciate the love and support.