Goodbye

A year ago I kissed you goodbye.
I watched you as you lay in peace as your suffering ended.
Your beauty angelic, your beauty present.
I said goodbye, I held you the way you held me so many times.
You had brought me into this world and now I was witnessing you leaving it.
My thoughts have flooded my being, a wave of emotions as rapid as your last breaths.
I have revisited a lifetime of memories.
I have questioned choices that we made, while you were still alive.
Choices that were difficult because we didn't want you to suffer.
Choices that are still hard and yet should be light because of your pain and your quality of life. Your fingers were bruised by needles. Needles that pointed to your map of suffering.
Your arms and legs swollen from shutting down.
My soul in a rage, my spirit lost. All I wanted was for you to be free.
I wanted you to have peace.
Now you do.
" I miss you mom "
I only wish you know how much!