How Well Do We Know?

How well do we know faith?
How deep do we search within?
Do we anchor in the bay,
do we go out to sea?
The bay lulls us to sleep,
the sea stormy liberates our fears.
How well do we know ourselves?
We want to change the world,
but turn away from hard truths.
There are scars in our souls,
invisible bandages cover them so safely
but the scars heal over time.
How well do I know myself?
My cathedral is in the woods,
my church is in the ocean. 
I believe in so many things.
I believe in peace and love.
I believe in saving lost souls.
I believe in life's second chances.
I am still climbing a mountain,
my eyes still bright and knowing,
my arms open, my heart open.
How accepting are we to others?
How forgiving are we to them?
Live with reason and a purpose.
Live with tolerance and live free.
Live with a conscious and truth, 
then you will really know yourself.

Time

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on"- Henry Ellis

Saturday morning I went for a walk in my neighborhood. The sun was caressing me. I was taking swift steps as I tried to breathe deep breaths. I was anxious and I was trying to soothe myself. I took notice of the familiar homes and flowers planted in front of them. I revisit these streets the way I revisit a favorite book, remembering passages and words that evoke emotion and meaning inside of me. My thoughts always take me back to memories that we have made here. As I kept walking I noticed the swing in front of one of the homes was gone. It was up there for ten years. A simple rope with a oval wood flat swing . I felt sad. When Daniel was fourteen months old we ventured into this street. He pointed his little finger and declared in his sweet voice,"oval!" and I was shocked because he recognized the shape that he had only seen in flash cards. I was delighted. Afterward whenever we passed the house with the oval swing he would joyfully say oval. Obviously he enjoyed the attention that day and he took notice to the pride that I felt in his achievement. Our oval swing was gone, and now that it was gone I feared that the memory will fade. Daniel is ten and there are memories that I no longer remember with the same sharpness or detail. We are going through the stages, growing changes, during lunch this past week Daniel lost a tooth. His first molar. The sad moment for me was when he said, "you know that I don't believe in the tooth fairy." Another sign that things are changing here. Life is changing and we are changing with it.

Ozzy Osbourne-Out of The Box

Can music make you step out of the box? My answer is yes, music is the sound to which my soul dances to. I love music but I am not a fan of heavy rock or metal. Last night that changed. We attended Ozzy Osbourne's Scream tour concert. My husband loves Ozzy and the last time he saw him in concert he was a teenager. The Prince of Darkness gave an amazing performance. He jumped with the boundless energy of a young boy. He roused the crowd, his voice was strong. He shouted, "let's make this one of the best nights of our life". I believed him. His band played brilliantly and I loved a guitar solo from Gus G. Ozzy gave his heart to everyone there. I felt it. I was swept up in the moment, in the electric energy the night had. I went to this concert for my husband, I knew it would be an experience. What I didn't know was that I would love it and that both of us would have such an amazing night.

The Novelty Of A Ball

As a thirteen year old boy,
war was cruel, sad, and gray.
There was no place to escape,
there were dreadful, piercing, loud sounds.
There was gratitude to be alive.
A ball made out of rags,
such a novelty in that place.
The stench of death always looming.
That boy grew up to survive,
the camp, the war, the sadness.
That boy was my dear father,
not only he survived the war,
but his spirit always soared high.
He lived his life with gratitude.
Growing up he was my hero,
he taught me through his example.
To fight for what I believe,
to live on my own terms.
To be kind and help others,
to seek truth and live fully.
His life read like a novel,
his legacy continues through our life.

Follow The Passion

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."-Angela Schwindt

Last night I had a conversation with my son. He was indulging me by listening to small details that I was sharing with him. On most days he is rushed. He is living a busy life of a third year medical student. The other day he was on call at the hospital for thirty hours straight . After our conversation my thoughts drifted to the past, my little boy so proud to give me a Lego heart that he built for me. It wasn't on Valentine's Day it was a regular day. He was always affectionate and attentive. I remember when I went to visit him at Duke University where he was an undergrad we were at the Nasher Museum of Art at Duke. After we went through the exhibits we strolled through the museum store. There was a paperweight that said, "If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it." Josh said, "that's cool". I agreed and I wanted to purchase it for him. He declined stating that he doesn't need it. Months later I remembered the quotation which later I found out to be a quote of William Arthur Ward. I called up the museum and I ordered the paperweight for Josh. I remember when I gave it to him, he was surprised and delighted that I remembered. " I always remember and take notice of what you say", I announced proudly. Last night I had to remind myself that I always told him to follow his passion. I feel left behind because he doesn't have the time to give me. But this is what we want for our children, we want them to live their life fully and to be whole. Some days it's harder to accept that they are grown and no longer need us for guidance. Some days there's a void even thought there is always gratitude that they are living their dream.

Sweet Nothings And Valentine's Day

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."-Aristotle

When I met my husband, he had a sixteen year old dog. A mix of  German Shepperd, his fur was black and his coat still shined. His name was Mako, because my husband loves sharks. Mako was old and feeble. Husband was dedicated to his care and toward the end when Mako could not walk, husband would carry him outside. I watched and I remember thinking that this man with his boyish good looks possessed a heart of gold. Imagine how he would care for an ailing wife. ( not that I wanted to find out ! ) This was a long time ago and since then our life has been rich with a home life, our boys, adventures and loss. Husband has made me laugh when I have wanted to cry. He has been my rock in trying times. A few days ago we celebrated Valentine's Day. We went on a date. We sat at a restaurant waiting for our meal. We were touching each other, connected to one another. There were no sweet nothings said but there was flirtation and knowing glances, and familiar laughter. Anyone watching us would believe that our love was brand new. We are fortunate that this is the dance of our life. Hand in hand. My love wraps him like a blanket and his love sustains me. Love evolves, love goes through this dance we call life. As long as we nourish it love grows.

Second Chances

The infant was abandoned in front
of the orphanage with a note.
The note pinned to his chest,
stated that she was giving up.
She couldn't help herself she said,
she is living in a tent,
her only hope is for him,
to have a brand new life.
Sweet baby boy, eight weeks old,
embraced by strangers in the dark,
in seconds he captured their heart.
She will never know her son,
what kind of man he'll be.
The dreams he will carry within.
His pain of a broken heart,
the ache his soul will feel.
His resolve will make him stronger,
his strength will lead the way,
to dreams and hopes, second chances.