Sun Kissed Days

Sun Kissed Days

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Forgiveness And The Long Way Home

I had a red shinny tricycle,
but never a bicycle.
I dreamt of riding free,
in a yellow lemon dress,
flying down the hill
with the wind caressing my hair.
Dad feared I would fall
and I would hurt myself.
So I didn't fly until years later,
when I ran away,
no longer accepting to be sheltered
from the storms of life.
I left with a plane ticket,
the clothes on my back,
and a dream in my eyes.
My purse stuffed with family photographs
that I treasured,
memories of what I was leaving behind.
No money
or plans,
the man sitting next to me spoke
about pre Colombian  art,
puzzled, he watched the stars in my eyes.
My life was waiting,
forbidden love,
youth, brilliant and reckless.
Seduced by a freedom fighter,
not knowing he worshiped methadone,
hidden away in the refrigerator.
When John Lennon was shot
I still believed in the change that never came.
I battled his demons
and lost.
Broken dreams and promises.
I woke up one day and walked
away with my soul battered
but not defeated.
I walked away 
and opened new doors
and dreamt new dreams
fire in my soul
the wind on my back.

This week I turn 51. A time to reflect on an amazing journey called life.

Meet us at http://dversepoets.com where we share our thoughts and our hearts. 
Blessed with these boys in my life, my husband and sons. They make my life complete.
 

94 comments:

  1. An amazing journey, indeed, Ayala. So glad you've found safe harbor. (And happy birthday to beautiful you!)

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  2. Such a great journey indeed, happy birthday too!

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    1. Thank you, Pat. I appreciate it. :)

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  3. Happy Birthday Ayala! Love the beautiful pictures. You look stunning.

    This poem is powerful. I especially love the line, "When John Lennon was shot I still believed in the change that never came."

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    1. Thank you, Rudri. You are kind and sweet.

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  4. wow some powerful stuff....what a journey you have been on....walking away to freedom and finding it was not quite you walk on yet again....nice...great pics! smiles...happy birthday!

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    1. Thank you, Brian. It takes diving into life to find out. Thank you for always being here.

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  5. yeah...keep on dreaming... love the pics and wow..what a journey ayala..glad you managed to walk away again and found what you've been searching for.. surely much reason to celebrate

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    1. Thank you, Claudia. It's been quite a ride. :)

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  6. My husband turns 51 this week too - on Saturday. It is, without a doubt, a reflective age!! I love that we know that one dream can be laid down, and another picked up. That moving on is not only possible and necessary - but so often FULL of promise! This is beautiful. Thank you for tenderly sharing a piece of YOU with all of us! Happy Birthday!

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    1. Thank you, Adrienne. Your husband and I share the same birthday. :) I hope he has an amazing birthday. :)

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  7. Wow! So much packedmintomone poem! And your reflectiveness certainly shines through....every line a different turn in the story....poems like this just show how amazing how each and everyone of our lives are...many happy returns! 51? Your just a youngster!.....

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    1. Thank you, Stu. I believe that we all have a story to tell...sometimes not so easy to tell but definitely liberating.

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  8. Isn't this what life is all about. We have to learn from our own mistakes and sometimes they are so painful too but, boy oh boy do we learn them so well then. At least you managed to put things right and take back your life and make it such a blessed one again :)
    Powerful, and lovely writing.

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    1. Thank you, Bren. The mistakes teach us..and the pain and struggle makes us who we are. :)

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  9. Happy Birthday! How beautiful you are inside and out! Thank you for sharing your insights.

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  10. Thank you for sharing this portion of your life with us!! This is really such a beautiful honest write!

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  11. A wonderful reflection on your life. Wonderful pictures too.

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    1. Thank you, Matt. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

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  12. What a journey you had...it's nice to remember and that young girl is never far away...Happy Birthday Ayla!! Have a wonderful celebration!

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    1. Thank you, Di. The little girl is within ;)

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  13. Very expressive and reflective piece, ayala--so many demons to battle, so much to lose, and so much won. The decade of your fifties really brings so many things into focus. Lovely lovely photographs, also.

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    1. Thank you, Joy. Battling the demons not an easy task..but I would not change a thing.

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  14. Happy birthday, beautiful lady! I love both of these pictures.

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    1. Thank you, dear Belinda. You have been a wonderful friend here and it's been my honor to share this space with you. xo.

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  15. Ayala,
    I knew we had something in common--I drink Heineken Light too....nice bit of biography here, as always, with great pictures and an abiding focus on family. Much enjoyed.

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    1. Thank you, Steve. Love that Heineken Light ;). Glad you enjoyed this. :)

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  16. perhaps you believe that the change never came, but things are changing, we just see the bad, and things are getting worse, but i just read a great book called rational optimist and it disproves a lot of the nay-saying going on.



    sonnet 41

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    1. Sometimes that's the case..but in this specific time the change never came so I had to create the change.

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  17. I echo what others have said here. How brave of you to share your journey with us Ayala. I am so glad you found a safe place to fall. Everyone has a story and yours has a happy ending, Hun. Your family picture is gorgeous!

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    1. Thank you, Helena. It's not easy to open up completely but I am happy I did. I am thankful that I opened up my eyes. :)

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  18. I am glad you survived whatever challenges you had, and is now an even stronger woman ~

    Lovely family and Happy Happy Birthday to you ~

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    1. Thank you, Grace. I appreciate your kind thoughts.

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  19. Beautiful reflective poem on your life, Ayala. I love how you used the bicycle as such an effective metaphor. Happy, happy birthday.

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    1. Thank you, Victoria. I appreciate it. :)

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  20. Look how far you've come... you're family is beautiful. I hope you have a Happy Birthday!!

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  21. Such a wonderful feeling to step into the next half century. In maturity terms it's a wiser self in a relaxed mood. Great verse ayala!


    Hank

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    1. Thank you, Hank. I always appreciate your thoughts here.

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  22. Beautiful Ayala and may I wish you a very Happy Birthday for later in the week - you have a really lovely family there and you look absolutely stunning - that red bike carried you far and really stood you in good stead - warm wishes and love Lib

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    1. Thank you, Lib. Happy you enjoyed it. :)

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  23. Beautiful poem; very vivid and full of emotion. A beautiful family, too!

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  24. As a girl never had my own bike, only hand-me downs. A red bike is the epitome of Christmas or a happy birthday (to you).

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  25. happy birthday ayala! you have a beautiful family :)

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  26. quite the journey that brought you here... have a wonderful birthday filled with love and life!

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  27. Oh my goodness, that was absolutely beautiful, I love how you told your journey in such few words. Incredible prose, so eloquent.

    Happy Birthday, you are blessed with a wonderful family! Gotta love boys, huh?!? :-)

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    1. Thank you, CM. I love my boys :) and yes it's been quite the journey. :)

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  28. Happy Birthday Ayala! Thanks for sharing this intimate peek into your life.

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  29. Hello Ayala...and Happy Birthday. Mine is in two weeks. Life is an adventure even when it's scary. You've been very brave and I wish you continued blessings. You are always there to read my poems and I couldn't ask for a better present. My own family have no interest. Thank heaven for dVersePoets and the poets who link & read! Happy Returns of the day and year...and many more!

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    1. Thank you, Gay. I love reading your poetry...and true the friends we have made here are so supportive and wonderful. xo

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  30. Lovely work and an amazing journey. Happy birthday too!

    {ami}
    http://sundrysumthins.wordpress.com/

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  31. Beautiful, Ayala! And a very happy birthday to you! I feel very blessed to know you & your poetry :) x

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    1. Thank you, dear Louise. I feel blessed to have your friendship.

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  32. Oh what a journey, and the treasures you got out of it. Happy birthday! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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  33. What a lovely photo album of words. Thank you for your visit and comment at my place. Happiest of birthdays to you!

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  34. I really enjoyed how you took us on a retrospective journey of being, really focused thoroughly through thoughtful processing. Fantastic journey. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you, Fred. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  35. Wow, Ayala! I had no idea that you and I are the exact same age. Cool! And that bike looks just like mine too!

    I loved this piece - especially the image of you finding your freedom - the stuffed purse, filled with family memories. Nice use of internal rhymes and the piece as a whole leaves one with a pleasant feeling.

    Happy Birthday! You have a beautiful family!

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    1. Thank you, Kat. I feel like I am reflecting more and finding my peace. Happy you loved the poem :)

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  36. A beautiful story, spoken straighforwardly and with acceptance, the voice of a winner. I saw a lot of my own strivings fir freedon and self-awareness in your words, not the soecfics maybe, but the end the goal towards which we all seek completion. Happy Birthday, and congratulations on your lovely family.

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    1. Thank you, Charles. I appreciate your thoughts here. It was not an easy journey but a journey worth taking. I would not change a thing.

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  37. Gosh, I love this poem...the journey, the honesty, the depth of feeling here...and may I add, you certainly do not look your age...why...because you love, are loved, and still dream! Wonderful work here; probably one of my favorites of your. More! --Jackie

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    1. Thank you, Jackie. How sweet of you to say. My heart is full of love and you are right I have been blessed to love and be loved. I wish you the best. xo

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  38. I love your poem. It's so full of true life. Now, your family is beautiful. Happy Birthday.

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    1. Thank you, Myrna. Best wishes to you. :)

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  39. First - happy happy birthday- secondly your poem tells a great journey - overprotection leading somehow to unpreparedness. Glad it's working out better. k.

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    1. Thank you, Karin. It was quite the journey.....

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  40. This takes us on journey with you and alongside you wonderful

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  41. Happiest of birthdays, ayala. How on earth did 50 creep up on us so quickly? (I'll be 53 in October). What a journey you had to get become the amazing woman you are today. This poem was a true celebration of you.

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    1. Thank you, Kelly. I ask myself the same question...when did 51 creep up...but it's been quite a ride. xoxo

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  42. sometimes we need to wait for the bike... I'm sure you know now that you have children

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    1. When you are a parent you understand so much more ;)

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  43. Love your website (and your dog). I am your newest follower, and invite you to join my blog as well.

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  44. What a journey. Is that you in that picture? Gorgeous!

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    1. Thank you, Luke...yes, it's me ;)

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  45. Youth brilliant and reckless indeed. Happy Birthday, interesting looking back from a nice, secure place. I wish you brilliant yet grounded days ahead. What handsome "presents" you have.

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    1. Thank you, Lauren. It is good to look back from where I am today...so many struggles that brought me here. I love the "presents" ;)

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  46. Great documentation of your story :)

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