Sun Kissed Days

Sun Kissed Days

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Through the fog

The wind carried the sound
 of my weeping,
scattered dandelions floating
away.
My grief broke me open,
brought me to my knees.
My thoughts,
 waves of despair
and sorrow.
I was told that I should numb 
my pain with pills,
with wine,
with life.
I refused
I soaked it in,
I drowned.
 The grief 
let my heart bleed,
the blade deep and sharp.
 My thoughts consumed me,
I surrendered
 to my anguish. 
Every morning the sun rose
and I learned to walk through 
the sorrow unhinged,
undone.
I slept on a bed of thorns,
the darkness draping me.
I walked the path,
on shattered glass.
Moments, 
hours,
days,
months.
One day the sun rose,
my burden felt lighter.
I chose to rise from the ashes
and find glory in the morning light,
in the love in my life,
in remembering that you
would want me to live and
breathe again. 
I chose to live
among the glory that 
is in a new day,
the only day that's promised.



Marina at dVerse is having us write about the things that make our world shatter, what it needs and what we do to make it whole again. I wrote about losing my parents.


32 comments:

  1. I think some pains one has to live through without numbing it with pills or wine.. at the end only your close one's can save you.

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  2. Well done for not numbing your life with pills or alcohol - it takes courage to drown in one's grief for a while. And well done for finding a way out of that morass as well. A beautiful poetic description of the cycle of loss and grief.

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  3. Your description of grief was palpable and recognizable. No force on earth allows the pain to lessen, or the loved one to fade, but time opens up new access to more love and other loves that do not replace but adds to one's life. Well said.

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  4. yes - they want you to live and breathe and be happy... every parents wants this for their child - though it's tough to lose them...glad you found that joy again ayala

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  5. I think we need to relax into our grief and pain, let it in, allow it to consume us, for however long it takes. I think masking it with pills and distractions only puts off the day when you break for a second time. And there is no one way, or right way to mourn, to grieve. I don't think we get over it, we just wrap ourselves around the loss and it becomes part of us. You shared your losses with us so eloquently.

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  6. I learned to walk through
    the sorrow unhinged...and we do...and grieving is different for
    each person...some times we just have to wait until we are strong
    enough to choose to live....

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  7. Our minds migrated to similar plots today; great minds often do that. Your poem touched me deeply too. Death does stride our lives like a Colossus, & we live too long in its shadow. But kudos 2U for rising up from your knees, and throwing the long shadow again, drying up the tears, redirecting the soul energy, opening the curtain & letting in the light; hugs.

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  8. The hope and strength in this lovely poem is inspiring.

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  9. You live in the full thrall!
    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^= <3

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  11. Very painful and moving to read this Ayala ~ As you know both my parents are still alive but frail in health ~ Someday I would like to rise above my grief like you with love & faith ~

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  12. Survival of any crisis requires walking right through to the other side, doesn't it? And then we learn that we can.

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  13. It's hard not drown our griefs in things that are poisonous to us... My dad's not in my life, so I have my mom...just the thought of losing her... ugh, dont even wanna

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  14. You have written grief well, and you walked through it bravely. Yes, your parents, above all else, would want you to wake to the joy in life - your happiness is all they ever wanted for you.

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  15. We do learn to push on indeed, but hard sometimes

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  16. The feeling of loss is deep within your words but, you must rise as life is for the living as we try to find balance in some small way. Your parents would want you to be happy.

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  17. Best to acknowledge and experience the emotion...it's true that if denied, it will break out in another way...I've lost my mother(s) and want to savor time with my dad. You are brave!

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  18. This resonates on so many levels. I do believe your parents would want you to embrace life and find your path of happiness. xoxo

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  19. Not everyone is wise enough to embrace grief. I suspect that it is only by succumbing to grief that we can ever truly recover from it. Sorry for the kids off your parents, but glad that you are able to live again!

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  20. Time heals pain, but losing parents is the biggest pain of all. may god be with you.

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  21. yes....... its hard to come out of that and live ................but we have to live......... that is what journey of life is all about......

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  22. I felt this deeply... heart-wrenching detail.

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  23. such heartfelt words go so deep...grief shatters us but self within protects..the lines remind me of the mythical phoenix...

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  24. Powerful heartfelt piece, unfortunately I know that kind of grief.

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  25. I think this is the only way to deal with grief. Everything else is a bandage covering a festering wound. Beautiful, beautiful poem.

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  26. This just wrenches my heart for you---and yet it is the only way to move through it I think--hugs to you

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  27. There is so much bravery in your words and certainly in the process of grieving which you have expressed so eloquently. Losing those we love truly is the deepest, darkest and most shocking part of life. I can relate to so much of this poem and I agree that today is the only day promised that we ever have, so we must LIVE it. ((hugs))

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  28. How eloquently you write about your grief. I understand this so well - and there is some comfort in knowing that others have walked through the valley of shadow and found light at the other side.

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  29. What a beautiful elegant job you have done with this. Bravo!

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  30. Where have we gone wrong,
    lost our keen,
    and our desire to know our blood.

    .. this spoke very powerfully to me today. Thank you for this journey of a poem.

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  31. What a potent heartbreaking poem. Definitely felt the depth of your grief and sense of loss. Beautifully written

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