Sun Kissed Days

Sun Kissed Days

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

For Mom




On Mother's Day,
flowers will be given,
hallmark cards will be read,
children will make breakfast for moms
well deserved.
I will think of you,
under the sand ,
under the stone we erected,
announcing to the world that
you were a great wife,
mother,
grandmother,
great grandmother.
A throphy for all your sleepless nights,
and heartache.
I placed a heart 
shaped stone
 in your grave
before they covered you.
I cried, my heart broken.
Life is fleeting you said,
surround yourself with beauty you said.
You gave love with warm kisses,
and embraces,
sweet words.
You were flawed,
but beautiful.
Fragile but powerful.
I believed in miracles,
I believed that you would go on,
that you would overcome the heartbreak,
of losing the love of your life.
In the rehab room,
you saw him even though he was gone,
you saw him smile.
You no longer cared about life,
I tried to awaken your spirit but
your eyes were vacant
with only endless sadness
that invaded your being. 
He was your other half,
he was your life.
I saw you wither,
I saw you disappear in front of me.
I fed you orange pudding,
the way you fed me when I was a child.
You followed me with your eyes,
but you no longer smiled,
the stars had disappeared from your eyes.
You melted into the bed,
and my words could not move you nor lift
your spirit.
I didn't want to let you go,
I didn't want to say goodbye.
When you took your last breath,
my heart stopped,
my pain raw and unbearable.
I hold you in my heart,
I wear the wedding ring my father gave you,
I hold you in my dreams,
and every day I think of you,
I miss you so.



This is dedicated to my mom. She lost her will to live when my father died. They were together for almost sixty years. I miss them both every day. My father passed away on Mother's Day, so Mother's Day will never be the same for me. I have gratitude in my heart that I had good parents and I have gratitude in my heart that my children celebrate me on this day. Please meet us here http://dversepoets.com/ where we share our thoughts and our hearts.

93 comments:

  1. heart felt ayala....the heart shaped stone in her grave...the symbolism...seeing her vacant and at a loss of life...its heartbreaking...reminds me of my Mother in law....hugs...

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    1. It was heartbreaking...thank you, Brian. I am so sorry about your MIL and the loss you and T experienced. Hugs back.

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  2. Has to be rough when all one knows is gone, but gratitude for things to, even it isn't always easy

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  3. A beautiful tribute Ayala ~ So sad to know that she lost her will to live in the end ~ Thanks for sharing and have a lovely day ~

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    1. Thank you, Grace. I felt desperate those days....sad.

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  4. Ayala, you've made your mother smile :)
    Cheers,
    Mark Butkus

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    1. Thank you, Mark. You are so sweet.

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  5. A truly heartfelt tribute. lovely.

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  6. a beautiful tribute ayala....reminded me of my grandfather...he didn't want to live any more when my grandma had died...and followed her soon..

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    1. That happened with my grandparents as well...when they love so much..they feel incomplete without the one they love. Thank you, Claudia.

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  7. Thank you for sharing this heartful poem. I am sorry for you loss,for her loss, for loss that so often accompanies death. Love is so potent here. Beautiful.

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    1. Thank you, Jane. I appreciate it.

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  8. This touched me in a profound way. I lost my brother in a drowning accident when he was 16 and I was 20. My father lost the will to live and died three months later--your piece brought me right back there

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    1. Audrey, I am so sorry. Heartbreaking, I am speechless. Hugs.

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  9. I truly felt the pain of your heart here. Such unrepairable breakage in the loss of a parent.

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  10. Hard to type while crying, but i'm doing my best. This was a beautiful tribute to your Mom, ayala. This is the second Mother's Day I will be without my own Mom and the missing is so hard...

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    1. I am so sorry for your loss. So much heartache for you, my thoughts are with you. Hugs.

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  11. I just lost my Mother 2 weeks ago and this, this first Mother's Day feels almost impossible
    your words sting yet soothe
    thank you and may the God of peace grant peace to us both!

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    1. Sorry for your loss. The first Mother's Day so difficult. Your loss so new and the pain so fresh and raw. Sorry.

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  12. Ayala, this is such a heartfelt write. I have read the poems you have read about both your mother and your father. Your poem about your mother inspires me to write a poem about my (deceased) mother on Mother's Day. Sad that she lost her will to live after your dad died. It is good that you remember some of her lessons such as 'surround yourself with beauty' and 'life is fleeting.' I am so aware of the importance of both. I always look forward to your blog, Ayala. You write 'real,' and I appreciate that!

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    1. Mary, I am happy that my poem inspired you to write a poem for your mom. I am sure she will be smiling in heaven. I appreciate your kind words, thank you Mary.

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  13. really deep piece. continue keepin' tha spirit of ur mama alive....ain't no one in this world more precious than one's mama. salute 2 ur entire family.

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    1. Thank you kindly. Moms are so great..they love and nurture and they don't ask for anything in return.

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  14. Another lovely tribute touching on so many levels. Wishing you peace.

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    1. Thank you kindly and peace to you.

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  15. A lovely tribute to both of your parents. Hope you have a nice Mothers Day!

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    1. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

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  16. So sad, poignant, and so beautiful :)) Hugs. xoxoxo

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  17. So sad, and so hard. My wife's mother has struggled in this way since her husband passed away; they were together their entire lives. She is in her last days now, and has said many times she is ready to go.
    A beautiful tribute, Ayala.

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    1. I am so sorry, Charles. Please tell your wife that I pray she has strength through these dark days. So sad.

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  18. Oh, Ayala... this brought tears to my eyes... so beautiful, heartfelt. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day anyway.

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    1. Thank you, Laurie. I appreciate this and I hope your Mother's Day is perfect.

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  19. I'm sorry for your loss, and I wish you pleasant memories. You have crossed a bridge I have yet to cross.

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    1. Thank you, Todd. Embrace what you have right now.....

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  20. This is so touching. The orange putting, eyes, melting into the bed, and the ring. It gave me chills.

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  21. Oh my goodness Ayala... this is so beautiful. The love and dedication... the emotions you must have been feeling is simply so great.

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    1. Thank you, Dana. I write from my heart.

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  22. A wonderful tribute to the spirit of your mom. Many moms have it hard, and your poem reminds me of the sadness and joys of my own mother. Thanks you

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    1. Thank you, Charles. Moms give us our foundation, they give us life.

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  23. Oh my, this made me cry. Your heartbreak is palpable, and what a hard day this must be for you. I will be sending an extra hug to help you through it.

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    1. Thank you, Kelly for your kindness and your heart.

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  24. Our hearts may ache with loss, but we must embrace the memories. Let all that was good envelope you, and hold tight to the joy of knowing that your parents are united once again.

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    1. Thank you, Ginny. When my mom passed the only thing that consoled me somewhat was that now they were united again.

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  25. *hugs* I had my mother for four years and though many say that I don't know her, I know her well. On Mother's Day, I wish that our time had extended further. Blessings.

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    1. Aww Beth, I am so sorry. Such a heartbreak for you. I'm sure she is watching you in spirit. Hugs.

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  26. So well written and it gave me a big lump and tears in my eyes.

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  27. This is beautiful. Such a lovely tribute.

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  28. your word pictures here are lovely and sad, but i hear your gratitude, too...

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  29. How heartbreaking. Your pain shows through in every line - but even more so, the love you have for your Mother.

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    1. Thank you, Stephen. I appreciate it.

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  30. Lots of comments, and deservedly so. When you express such personal thoughts from heart's depth, you give us life, light, and truth. Lots of love in this Ayala.

    I felt my heart also rise in temperature while reading this and remembering.....

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    1. Steve, thank you for your beautiful heart. You always bring me sunshine with your kindness.

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  31. A moving tribute, Ayala, and a great rendering of a powerful human dynamic.
    Steve

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  32. such a beautiful tribute ... a great write.

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  33. Ayala.. from reading your very personal innermost thoughts, its obvious your parents love was bigger that life itself! This was a beautiful tribute. Your words moved me (hands on my heart).

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    1. Your comment made me smile and your kind words lifted me. Tomorrow is five years since my dad passed away and it's going to be a hard day.

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  34. This made me cry at work. My gosh, it's so touching and painfully beautiful.

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    1. Thank you so much. I am touched by your comment.

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  35. In tears, Ayala. Thinking of you, my friend. xoxo

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  36. I am in tears writing this, Ayala. Just crying. You captured so poignantly and so vividly the love on so many levels - the love your parents had for one another and the love that you have for them. Thank you for opening your very full heart to us.

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  37. Very heartfelt. My dad died about a year and a half ago - my parents also married over sixty years - very hard on my mom, but she is managing. Life certainly has its difficulties. k.

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    1. I am so sorry about your dad and I wish you and your mother strength.

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  38. What a beautiful, poignant write Ayala. I miss my parents (who were also devoted to each other) too, but aren't we fortunate to have had such wonderful parents. Happy Mother's Day to you.

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    1. Yes, we are blessed. Thank you, Mary. Happy Mother's Day.

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  39. What a BEAUTIFUL and heartfelt piece. This made my quite emotional. So so powerful...

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    1. Thank you, Keith. I appreciate it.

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  40. This is a touching tribute to your mom and a great illustration of your relationship Ayala. Your relationship must have been rich and it's no wonder it was so hard to let her go. My heart goes out to you. Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day tomorrow!

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    1. Thank you, Jen. I wish you the best. Your comment touched me.

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  41. Happy Mother's Day dear ~

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    1. Thank you, Grace. Happy Mother's Day.

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  42. (((ayala))) Thinking of you and hoping you had a beautiful Mother's Day.

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    1. Thank you my dear. I was thinking of you too.

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  43. a lovely tribute I hope you had a lovely mother's day Ayala!:)

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    1. Thank you, Gloria. I hope you had a good Mother's Day.

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  44. Your poem really touches me. It's amazing that your parents were together for 60 years, and sadly understandable that she lost her will to live when your father died. I'm very sorry for your losses, Ayala. Thanks for sharing your poetic talents in honor of your mom.

    xoRobyn

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  45. For my father it was banana pudding. I'm so sorry Ayala, when my father diet my mother changed. She is here but in some ways vacant. 60 years, my goodness. I hope your broken heart is healing. I can tell from your posts you are a wonderful mother sometimes, on mother's day, better to focus on that.

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    1. So sorry about your dad. sad about your mom and yes I do realize that, thank you . Hope you got some time to enjoy yourself besides editing. :)

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  46. oh Ayala, to live with this love rising from your broken heart slashed again every year at this time... you are courageous and in could only be through love imparted to you by your parents and your own inner essence that could sustain such pain... AND the love of the precious family you have built together with your beloved.

    bless you my friend.

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    1. Thank you, Laura. Your kind words mean so much to me.

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