I lay in your wings,
your voice was my music.
I inhaled your words,
as my breath.
I gave you my heart,
as my soul lay naked in your palm.
My sunflower died the other day,
just like something died inside
of me, when I came undone,
when I lost my voice,
when my dream began to crumble.
I was no longer nestled in your wings,
I was falling,
I was holding,
I was waiting,
for you to listen to my cries.
loss...the feeling is deep and expressed well in your write ayala!
ReplyDeletemy new poem is also on loss.
hope you are well
Take care!
oh def tight on the emo...sad to be let go of...and to lose ones voice, both sad polaces to be...nice write...
ReplyDeletesad and haunting voice...like the image of sunflowing dying ~
ReplyDeleteThinking you have it all and then it dies, sad indeed
ReplyDeleteThe sense of loss is so palpable in this poem.
ReplyDeleteOh Ayala, my heart breaks reading your beautiful sad poem...such deep emotion you have evoked.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking at the other replies here and it's true, Ayala, this is sad. But what struck me about your poem, the thing that dominates it for me is the total, encompassing love that you described. It's beautiful....
ReplyDeleteNice write, Ayala. Beautiful and sad at the same time. I love the flow and urgency of the poem. I also love the sudden shift (IMO) between the lines "as my soul lay naked in your palm.
ReplyDelete/ My sunflower died the other day". It works perfectly. Thanks for sharing.
lovely strong sad words here Ayala... superb writing.
ReplyDeletesadness in my heart as I read this Ayala...
ReplyDeletegrief is so strong and made worse when not heard by the one you would have run to...
your poem could be the loss of human relationship, or the loss of Divine relationship. either way, i think you've expressed the depth of this pain eloquently. i hope the cries were heard, i hope the music came back...
ReplyDeleteI agree with the other comments, so sad when love dies, for whatever the reason.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful piece of prose from you.
The sadness and poignancy of lost love beautifully expressed in rich language and imagry. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece!
ReplyDeleteYou captured the essence of loss so perfectly- So beautiful in it's melancholy, thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThis piece carries great weight. The images are vivid and the sentiment so emotionally charged. I know loss, and, clearly, you do too.
ReplyDeleteNamaste..........cj
I feel a sense of loss and of being disappointed in this poem (not disappointed in the poem but the speaker is disappointed-you get it, right?). Very sad. Nicely done.
ReplyDeletefilled with emotion, love the image of the sunflower, shriveled, dead, but filled with the seeds of new life...
ReplyDeleteDelicate and beautiful.
ReplyDeletewow, a lot of emotion, constructed to get the most out of it. starting in the wings and coming back to them, although you were no longer nestled in them, worked well.
ReplyDeleteYou eloquently write about that place of "unheard". I hate that place.
ReplyDeleteyour voice was my music.
ReplyDeleteI inhaled your words,
as my breath.
Evocative lines in an affecting write.
falling, holding, waiting... sometimes that's all that can be done. Nice...
ReplyDeleteAching piece, really pulled at my heart. A touching write ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteSad and beautiful, ayala. The sunflower is used perfectly here--the life in love that grows and blooms, and nourishes--hard to let it go; even though you still keep the seeds, what grows will never be the same plant. I liked the wings very much, too.
ReplyDeleteDelicate, sensitive - a sad yet touching write, rendered beautiful in the blooming of the image.
ReplyDeleteYour lovely voice will ALWAYS be found by me, Dear Ayala. Forever and a million days!
ReplyDeleteWithin the sunflower, the seeds...
xoxo
I love the gentle sadness of this. You've expressed longing so well here.
ReplyDeleteThis is darkly beautiful with images of giving and losing. A wonderful expression of sadness.
ReplyDeleteSuch sad but beautiful words. We all really want to feel heard and loved, which sounds easy, but we all know it isn't. Great poem.
ReplyDeleteMystery and dark beauty, it reminds me of a native American piece, well done Ayala :)
ReplyDeleteThe sunflower hung its head and looked at the ground and then dropped its seed/or tears.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Hope.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brian. Devastatating to lose your voice.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Heaven. I appreciate your thoughts.
ReplyDeletePat, thanks for your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteDear Laura, thank you .
ReplyDeleteThank you, John. Love like that is so precious .
ReplyDeleteThank you, Stephen.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dulce.
ReplyDeletePatricia...that's what we desire to be heard and seen...thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leslie.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Daydreamertoo.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emeraldcity.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Fred. I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, CJ. I am sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteNamaste.
Thank you, Lolamouse...yes..
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mrs.Mediocrity.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mama Zen.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ed.
ReplyDeleteDarkangel...I hate that place too.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anna.
ReplyDeleteWolfsrosebud...sometimes that's all you can do.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rose.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joy. I appreciate your comment.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Chris.
ReplyDeleteDear Jannie,
ReplyDeleteyou are so sweet as always.
xoxo
Thank you, Joanne.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lori.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rachel.
ReplyDeleteVery sad, ayala.
ReplyDeleteThe sunflower image struck me... and is stuck with me.
~ deb
Thank you, Apryl.
ReplyDeleteSweet, Colleen. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deb. I hope all is well with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Finally.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful...it's haunting and touching at the same time. Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteoh, wow - great write, girl! I often express the same sentiments to my God (sigh)
ReplyDeletethe visual shape of this centred is appealing; repetition of personal pronoun 'I' woks for me (often it doesn't)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ameena.
ReplyDeleteSheila...sigh....
ReplyDeleteThank you, Luke. I appreciate your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteemotional sad ... very vivid ... a beautiful write.
ReplyDeleteThe question, unanswered, is - did he hear?
ReplyDeleteGood poem.
just a perfect capture of this vulnerability...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Baishali.
ReplyDeleteYes, Glynn, thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Claudia.
ReplyDeleteSo haunting and sad Ayala. The image of the sunflower unearthing the soul is a striking image.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rudri.
ReplyDelete