I lay in your wings,
your voice was my music.
I inhaled your words,
as my breath.
I gave you my heart,
as my soul lay naked in your palm.
My sunflower died the other day,
just like something died inside
of me, when I came undone,
when I lost my voice,
when my dream began to crumble.
I was no longer nestled in your wings,
I was falling,
I was holding,
I was waiting,
for you to listen to my cries.
loss...the feeling is deep and expressed well in your write ayala!ReplyDelete
my new poem is also on loss.
hope you are well
oh def tight on the emo...sad to be let go of...and to lose ones voice, both sad polaces to be...nice write...ReplyDelete
sad and haunting voice...like the image of sunflowing dying ~ReplyDelete
Thinking you have it all and then it dies, sad indeedReplyDelete
The sense of loss is so palpable in this poem.ReplyDelete
Oh Ayala, my heart breaks reading your beautiful sad poem...such deep emotion you have evoked.ReplyDelete
I'm looking at the other replies here and it's true, Ayala, this is sad. But what struck me about your poem, the thing that dominates it for me is the total, encompassing love that you described. It's beautiful....ReplyDelete
Nice write, Ayala. Beautiful and sad at the same time. I love the flow and urgency of the poem. I also love the sudden shift (IMO) between the lines "as my soul lay naked in your palm.ReplyDelete
/ My sunflower died the other day". It works perfectly. Thanks for sharing.
lovely strong sad words here Ayala... superb writing.ReplyDelete
sadness in my heart as I read this Ayala...ReplyDelete
grief is so strong and made worse when not heard by the one you would have run to...
your poem could be the loss of human relationship, or the loss of Divine relationship. either way, i think you've expressed the depth of this pain eloquently. i hope the cries were heard, i hope the music came back...ReplyDelete
I agree with the other comments, so sad when love dies, for whatever the reason.ReplyDelete
A beautiful piece of prose from you.
The sadness and poignancy of lost love beautifully expressed in rich language and imagry. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece!ReplyDelete
You captured the essence of loss so perfectly- So beautiful in it's melancholy, thanks for sharingReplyDelete
This piece carries great weight. The images are vivid and the sentiment so emotionally charged. I know loss, and, clearly, you do too.ReplyDelete
I feel a sense of loss and of being disappointed in this poem (not disappointed in the poem but the speaker is disappointed-you get it, right?). Very sad. Nicely done.ReplyDelete
filled with emotion, love the image of the sunflower, shriveled, dead, but filled with the seeds of new life...ReplyDelete
Delicate and beautiful.ReplyDelete
wow, a lot of emotion, constructed to get the most out of it. starting in the wings and coming back to them, although you were no longer nestled in them, worked well.ReplyDelete
You eloquently write about that place of "unheard". I hate that place.ReplyDelete
your voice was my music.ReplyDelete
I inhaled your words,
as my breath.
Evocative lines in an affecting write.
falling, holding, waiting... sometimes that's all that can be done. Nice...ReplyDelete
Aching piece, really pulled at my heart. A touching write ~ RoseReplyDelete
Sad and beautiful, ayala. The sunflower is used perfectly here--the life in love that grows and blooms, and nourishes--hard to let it go; even though you still keep the seeds, what grows will never be the same plant. I liked the wings very much, too.ReplyDelete
Delicate, sensitive - a sad yet touching write, rendered beautiful in the blooming of the image.ReplyDelete
Your lovely voice will ALWAYS be found by me, Dear Ayala. Forever and a million days!ReplyDelete
Within the sunflower, the seeds...
I love the gentle sadness of this. You've expressed longing so well here.ReplyDelete
This is darkly beautiful with images of giving and losing. A wonderful expression of sadness.ReplyDelete
Such sad but beautiful words. We all really want to feel heard and loved, which sounds easy, but we all know it isn't. Great poem.ReplyDelete
Mystery and dark beauty, it reminds me of a native American piece, well done Ayala :)ReplyDelete
The sunflower hung its head and looked at the ground and then dropped its seed/or tears.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Hope.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Brian. Devastatating to lose your voice.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Heaven. I appreciate your thoughts.ReplyDelete
Pat, thanks for your thoughts.ReplyDelete
Dear Laura, thank you .ReplyDelete
Thank you, John. Love like that is so precious .ReplyDelete
Thank you, Stephen.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Dulce.ReplyDelete
Patricia...that's what we desire to be heard and seen...thank you.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Leslie.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Daydreamertoo.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Emeraldcity.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Fred. I appreciate it.ReplyDelete
Thank you, CJ. I am sorry for your loss.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Lolamouse...yes..ReplyDelete
Thank you, Mrs.Mediocrity.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Mama Zen.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Ed.ReplyDelete
Darkangel...I hate that place too.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Anna.ReplyDelete
Wolfsrosebud...sometimes that's all you can do.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Rose.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Joy. I appreciate your comment.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Chris.ReplyDelete
you are so sweet as always.
Thank you, Joanne.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Lori.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Rachel.ReplyDelete
Very sad, ayala.ReplyDelete
The sunflower image struck me... and is stuck with me.
Thank you, Apryl.ReplyDelete
Sweet, Colleen. Thank you.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Deb. I hope all is well with you.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Finally.ReplyDelete
Beautiful...it's haunting and touching at the same time. Thank you for sharing this!ReplyDelete
oh, wow - great write, girl! I often express the same sentiments to my God (sigh)ReplyDelete
the visual shape of this centred is appealing; repetition of personal pronoun 'I' woks for me (often it doesn't)ReplyDelete
Thank you, Ameena.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Luke. I appreciate your thoughts.ReplyDelete
emotional sad ... very vivid ... a beautiful write.ReplyDelete
The question, unanswered, is - did he hear?ReplyDelete
just a perfect capture of this vulnerability...ReplyDelete
Thank you, Baishali.ReplyDelete
Yes, Glynn, thank you.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Claudia.ReplyDelete
So haunting and sad Ayala. The image of the sunflower unearthing the soul is a striking image.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Rudri.ReplyDelete