Waiting to grow up

The sidewalk had traces of pink and yellow chalk,

sounds echoed of hopscotch played yesterday.

My footsteps heavy,

sadness in my heart

locked away.

I thought about the war,

sirens in the night,

a ladybug crawling on my arm.

There was a boy in school,

with big brown eyes,

his locks curled gently.

He never saw me,

he was three years older.

I knew love would come one day,

exquisite,

heartbreaking,

glorious love.

We left home

my brothers grown,

they attempted to shield me

from scraped knees,

broken bones and reality.

They could not see 

how sad my smile was,

how deep my thoughts.

We crossed the ocean 

and planted our lives

like roots of a tree into a 

new society.

I was mesmerized at the pace,

macaroni and cheese in

a blue and yellow Kraft box,

television loud with color and life.

There were egg shaped tape players,

and boats bobbing in the bay.

The sound of the waves in the ocean

lulled me to sleep.

I was dreaming

waiting to grow up.

Happy 29

Dearest Josh,

I normally write you a poem that celebrates you and this moment in your life. Today I am writing a post

celebrating milestones and a son that has made my soul swell with love. The first time I saw you there was no doubt that you were everything that was good and right in my life. I wanted to make your world perfect but it wasn't. Whatever struggles that came our way I was there to battle them and I was there to protect you from the storms. We spent days reading, playing, conversing. You were a sweet baby, alert and eager. You were a curious toddler. You loved history and science. When you won the fire prevention poster in Kindergarten you felt especially proud because we took it to a professional frame shop to have it matted and framed. You were filled with wonder and our favorite time was every evening reading books, great books that we would discuss and laugh about. You played soccer and baseball and I sat on the bleachers cheering you on. In high school you volunteered at the hospital that you were born at. That first day you called me and you told me that there was a code blue and someone had died and that you wanted to be a doctor to help people. I told you as I often did ,that I support you and you should do what you are passionate about. You have trained hard through the last few years becoming a wonderful doctor and a humanitarian.When you read this you will roll your eyes because it comes naturally to you to be this kind and generous man. I am proud of you, I always have been and I always will be. I love you for always and forever.

Beloved

If I forget you,

let death carry me on her shoulders.

If I forget you 

the walls of my heart

would be empty,

the sounds of my soul 

would be silent.

If I forget you

there is no reason to live,

you are the heartbeat,

you are the flame of my soul.

Wondrous

I dove into the ocean

to catch a glimpse

of a sea turtle.

I saw him for a moment,

majestic,

grand,

and my heart fluttered.

I saw pods of dolphins

in the wild, 

leaping,

frolicking like children in 

the playground

and my heart sang.

I saw wondrous things

without a compass to lead the way

nor a plan.

My guide was my curiosity

and the willingness to fail.