Sun Kissed Days
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A Corner In The World
At the age of two he knew,
life was not perfect.
As we walked into our new house,
the smell of fresh paint,
held us in a cloud.
I watched him moving
his fort and soldiers,
his face beamed.
This was our corner of the world,
the nightmares would not seep through,
these walls.
I would not let them enter.
For years I held secrets,
in a bottomless purse that I carried.
As he grew,
he scattered them,
as if they were seeds,
allowing them to be free.
As the bubbles came up from the deep,
we rose above,
and began to breathe.
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wow. i think this is one of your best, yet.
ReplyDeletelove the journey in this...and the freedom found...
ReplyDeleteflawless.
ReplyDeletethis was a fantastic read...enjoyed every line - great imagery as well..think that's my fav by yours so far ayala
ReplyDeleteVery lovely.. my best lines are:
ReplyDeleteAs he grew,
he scattered them,
as if they were seeds,
allowing them to be free.
Happy OSW~
"For years I held secrets,
ReplyDeletein a bottomless purse that I carried.
As he grew,
he scattered them,
as if they were seeds"
those who hold and those who release...
great poem.
I love that some bloggers apply poetry, and I could see yours. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, the "this was our corner of the world" line really stood out as I read it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Ayala...I exhaled, quite naturally at the end of reading your poem...feeling the release and then fresh breath filling my lungs again.
ReplyDeletePoignant storytelling, Ayala. Good that you have each other with whom to rise above.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful imagery. I felt myself breathing at the end with you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful story of children their life as they grow and the roof covers home
ReplyDeleteThanks for your one shot support
Lovely poem, and the ending is magical!
ReplyDeleteTo rise above with one you love... this is success! Nicely parsed.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/28/the-g-spot
Not an unneeded word, every one in its place for a poem full of heart and life. I can believe that "the nightmares would not seep through these walls."
ReplyDeleteThis is so lovely, ayala, I was drawn in to your story until the very end with the bubbles...wonderful ending to this piece!
ReplyDeletep.s.-- that dog brings a smile to my face each time I come here! :)
Nice imagery Ayala. And I detect undertones of sadness and mystery. It's incredible the stories you can weave with these one shots. Bravo my friend.
ReplyDelete"This was our corner of the world,
ReplyDeletethe nightmares would not seep through,
these walls.
I would not let them enter." I love your motherly instincts to protect your little one from the nightmares.
Beautiful imagery.
You drew me in with the first line...Wonderful Ayala!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of your best, I think.
ReplyDeleteI wish I didn't so well understand this one.
ReplyDeleteperfect, flawlwss, beautiful .... it's best to open up the bag and let our pain, sorrows, memories to be free, to merge with the wide ... and we can do this with our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteI think you are really growing as a poet. This is deep but not confusing, and so evocative to me. I adopted a little boy at three, from a horrible circumstance. This poem spoke right to my heart.
ReplyDeleteThe sparcity of words is absolutely perfect....this poem haunts in a beautiful way.
Lady Nyo
For years I held secrets,
ReplyDeletein a bottomless purse that I carried...
Such great lines in a very touching poem.
Deep in feeling, yet anchored in physical space. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful in depth of feeling and freedom found!
ReplyDeleteThe mix of darkness and hope pulls on my heart. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThose secrets in the bottom of the purse - wonderful image, wonderful lines.
ReplyDeleteA somberness to this piece, really composed perfectly ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteVery gentle, but very vivid imagery of pain, protection and, love.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this very much.
Wow, Ayala. This powerful poem is both evocative and mysterious. The image that most resonated with me was that of the fort and soldiers - both toys and symbols of protection.
ReplyDeleteLife, evolution, freedom, journey- all woven together with so much beauty!
ReplyDeleteUndisputedly; one of the bests I have read..
hugs xox
This is so beautiful, poignant, heartfelt. Love the bottomless purse line.
ReplyDelete