Play Time

"Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."-Hans Christian Andersen

Taking time to play is sacred. Taking time to play has to become a priority. It helps us connect with ourselves. It helps us have room to breathe. It helps us dream. All of us are busy with our daily life, we rush through appointments. We are over scheduled, we are overworked. We postpone our dream, we postpone our down time. Today, take time to do something that you love. It could be a small thing like watching a sunset. It could be walking into a bookstore and losing yourself in the wonderful rows of books. My husband had an opportunity Saturday to go fishing with childhood friends. When he goes fishing he becomes a boy again. I love the enthusiasm that he comes back with. He smells like the ocean and his eyes shine. When he described his day he captured the silly laughter and the joy that they shared to be fishing again. I was happy for him. We all need an escape. We need to nourish our spirit. When we nourish the spirit we can face our daily challenges. Life is fragile.Life does not wait for us, so today do one thing that you love. Today nourish your soul.

Refresh Mind And Soul

Hours spin into days of conflict,
thoughts rage, roar like a storm,
there's a need to stand still.
Their eyes warm me like summer,
brown eyed boys that love me,
a brown eyed man that dreams.
Aqua blue water engulfing Peanut Island,
a manatee comes to greet us.
White sand rolling in our toes.
Serenity wraps us like a blanket,
thoughts lie down to sleep silent,
the waves cradle us with love.

Breathe

Today, I search for peace,
a quiet in my noisy world.
Today I embrace the gratitude
in my soul.
I stand still and breathe.

Happy Birthday Josh

Happy Birthday my sweet son. I can't believe you are 25 years old. You are a grown man but for me you will always be my baby boy. You are a wonderful son, grandson, brother, friend, and a humanitarian. The day you were born I fall in love with you. I held your hand and you captured my heart. I read to you, I played with you, mostly I gave you love. We shared a life with specks of happiness and pain. We shared conversations and adventure. You were sensitive to me and sensitive to the world. When you graduated high school as the salutatorian of your class you thanked your family, teachers, mentors, and the community. You thanked me for reading to you in the womb, and for always being there. You moved me and others in the auditorium to tears. It was in high school while you volunteered at the hospital that you found your passion-medicine. Last year when you spent spring break with colleagues helping the poor in the Dominican Republic, I could hear the excitement in your voice. You were making a difference in lives of others and you were loving it. I felt proud. You are loyal and giving. What a wonderful grandson you were to grandma and grandpa when they were alive. They didn't need to ask for help,you were more than happy to lend a hand. You cleaned, you washed laundry, you took care of them. Anyone that knows you can count on you. You have a big heart. Baba says that we are bookends and we are. You are my bookend. I wish you a life filled with wonder and adventure. I wish you happiness and gratitude. I love you always.

He Warms My heart

Brown eyed boy with treasured dreams,
built colorful Legos and read books.
The boy is now a man,
a man with purpose and hope.
He touched a beating heart today,
his voice knowing,his voice light.
Living with gratitude in the moment,
graced by daily miracles of life.
I feel humbled by his journey,
it warms my heart and soul.

A Spiral

"My grief lies within,and these external manners of lament are merely shadows to the unseen grief that swells with silence in the tortured soul"- William Shakespeare.

I said that I would let go. I said that I choose not to suffer. Then why do I let the suffering enter the doorway to my soul? Why does the light disappear and darkness enters uninvited? It was just a simple action and I don't know if that is why I broke down and I wanted to hide from the world. My brown eyes flooded with tears . I was making dinner. I decided to make turkey legs with rice and sauteed mushroom. Mom used to make it and I couldn't remember how. That thought led me into the staircase that took me back into the past. Mom and dad, I miss them so. There is so much that I want to tell them. There is so much I remember. Dad would always compliment her efforts and she would smile. He was her world. My brain was hurting as my thoughts were spinning around. In and out the thoughts came and went. I had a dream with dad the other night, he was reminding me of things I had forgotten. I wanted him to stay. I always want him to stay. I awaken with a longing and gratitude. I don't know what to make of those dreams but I welcome them. A small action of cooking, something mom would make brought me into a spiral of emotions. I thought that I was better. I thought that I was growing up. I was not leaving them behind but I was learning and accepting. But I realize today that my journey continues and not every day will be a good day. Some days will be filled with sunshine and other days will be filled with storms. I realize that it's normal for my heart to ache even if it's not a special day or an anniversary. Little things sometimes are the things that we remember and that we connect with. My words spilling into the page as my heart bleeds,and I feel lighter for sharing the pain. I gain new strength to start a new day.

A Dream

Daniel was in Kindergarten when I bought him a wonderful book called,"My Brother Martin". The book was written by Christine King Farris about her brother Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Her book is filled with details of his life as a child. The laughter they shared and the pain. The book captures it all . Martin was told by his white friends that they were no longer allowed to play with him because he was black. Daniel was moved . Daniel wrote about the dream that Martin had as a child. Daniel's teacher proudly took him to the principal's office to read his paper. He stood tall and proud and even though he was shy,his voice was steady. I was not present but Daniel's teacher shared all the details with me. I smiled with pride. Last night we read the book at bedtime. The book is not like the long chapter books that he reads now but the message is giant like the man that conceived the dream.