Colorful Lego bricks scattered
like confetti on the ground.
Spaceships and rockets built
a feast to my eyes.
His eyes shine as he runs to me,
" I need electrical parts for my Legos."
I smile quietly,
" please mom"
his voice urges.
I take a deep breath,
" we will see " I answer.
My thoughts unravel,
as he chatters away
details of inventions and
dreams he dreams.
He captures my attention with
his enthusiasm .
An ache fills me,
as I watch him build a fort
out of food cans,
I want to shield his heart.
I have to make up for a dad
that's not present in his life.
I have to make up for promises
his dad did not keep,
a treehouse he said he would build,
baseball he said he would play,
tears of a little boy.
I need to fix it with a band aid to his soul,
he is five and I am twenty nine.
We are growing and learning
together.
I hold him closer,
shelter him from the pain,
nourish him with books and love.
I remain silent,
and determined,
I never make a promise that I can't keep.
This poem was inspired by my friend and talented poet Brian Miller , he wrote this poem the other day that touched my heart. http://www.waystationone.com/2012/11/everydayman.html I had my son Josh at the age of 24. I was the happiest girl when he was born. I raised him alone starting at the age of nineteen months old. He was my world and I was his. I never wanted him to feel lack of anything and it's hard sometimes as a parent to admit that we can't do it all for our children. I did have great family support so I was blessed but it was always the two of us. When he was nine I met my husband and he became a dad to my son. It was a gradual growth of their relationship and it was not always easy. It grew into a great father and son love and respect. Most of you know about Josh because I have shared many poems about him. My Lego boy is now 26 and a doctor that is selfless and a humanitarian that I admire. We did grow up together and through our various struggles we learned many lessons. My son Daniel is 11, he has had both parents raising him which is a different situation. He is a wonderful young man as well. Meet us here, http://dversepoets.com/ where we share our thoughts and our hearts. The picture above is when Josh was eight years old and I was able to take him to Legoland.
I liked this story very much, Ayala. So important with children never to make a promise one can't keep. They DO remember. How neat that you were eventually able to take him to Legoland. It sounds as if you have two fine sons!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary. It was amazing to taking him. :) I appreciate your words.
DeleteSounds like you were quite the pair at your lair and tons to be proud of too.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pat. We were :)
DeleteThat must have been hard, being a single mother when your boy was just 19 months old. It's a fine testament to you that you raised him for all those years alone, until you met your husband and it shows what a good man he is to have grown into being Josh's dad.
ReplyDeleteAlways enjoy reading your posts Ayala.
Thank you, Bren. I was the lucky one :)
Deletesmiles...thank you....the LEGO part touched me as well...my son was in a big statewide LEGO competition last weekend...and it is so important we dont make promises we cant keep that sends a terrible message when we do..
ReplyDeleteYou welcome, Brian. You are talented and great. I agree...and that's why I never made a promise that I could not keep :)
Deleteit's tough if we feel we can't give them what they wish for or need...and we can't.. i so often felt this while raising my kids..and it's good to make no promises we can't keep cause we lose their trust if we do.. thanks for this honest write ayala
ReplyDeleteTrue...and thank you, Claudia.
DeleteGirl, you did a good job. And kids can build a wonderland with discarded cans, bottles, and Legos. As long as they know their Mama is there for them, they can shoot for the moon.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dana. That's the main thing is to love them like there is no tomorrow.
Deleteso beautiful Ayala... you are an inspiration. bless your boys, your husband, you and the love that fills and shelters all of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura. I wish you the best as well.
DeleteThe first scene is a snapshot of my life right now, playing Legos with my 5yo son. I have great admiration for you for raising your son as a single mom for so many years. And you've obviously done an incredible job!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kristen. It was a great through it all.
DeleteI was raised off and on by my single mother so this hits close to home. I'm happy to hear you had family support and of your son's continued successes. Thank you for sharing it with us tonight.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anna. I appreciate it.
DeleteYou always find a way to move me, to bring to me the emotion that you're feeling. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenny.
DeleteYour story so closely echoes mine, I had my son at 24 as well, and then divorced, and so on... and he is now 26, too.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this, it touched my heart very deeply. And then I started to smile, remembering the time my stepson talked to me about legos for three hours straight on a ride home from his mom's one time...
we made it through these times, I still marvel sometimes at how we did it.
a lovely write!
Thank you, Kelly. We grew up together..I am sure you feel the same way. You make me smile with your Lego story...cute. :)
DeleteI wanted to get down and play with him. The heart of a mother is poured into this poem. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Beth. xo
DeleteHi- I tried to comment here earlier. I really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laurie.
DeleteGreat job! In all senses. k.
ReplyDeleteYou are so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa. xo
DeleteNo one could ask for a better mom, ayala. This sharing made me tear up.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joy. You are sweet.
DeleteAyala,
ReplyDeleteYour family is a bottomless well of inspiration. A marvelous verse, and a moving back-story of family history. --Steve
Thank you, Steve. I appreciate it.
Deletesimply adore these three lines...
ReplyDeletehe is five and I am twenty nine.
We are growing and learning
together.
this is what life is all about...beautifully said Ayala~ C.
Thank you, Christi. That is what life is all about .. :)
DeleteBeautiful, touching write. I was a single mom way back when and I can so relate to this piece. Thanks ayala.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jen.
DeleteThe poem helped me feel more deeply how a single parent feels. Nice of you to share something so personal. Obviously you did a great job of raising your boys. What a great picture. Bet they're both really cute still.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Myrna. I am happy that this poem gave you an insight to what it's like.
DeleteThis is just one example of why I love your poetry, Ayala. You are a selfless poetress, and I admire you for that alone. Beautiful poem.
ReplyDeletePamela
Thank you, Pamela. You are kind.
DeleteIt's only a promise if you keep it. Anything else is merely a lie. Great story and poem, Ayala. You are blessed!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Charles. I agree...
DeleteAyala, what a wonderful poem, completely captured that innocence and sweetness--a wonderful life story too :-) Thank you for linking me to Brian's poem, I had missed that one--
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sara. Brian's poem touched me deeply...I am glad you got to read it now.
DeleteI can relate to this one Ayala, I was a single parent for a while and always found it hard to afford those little extras...it's funny that now my son is older he can't see how he missed out on anything... how life changes as we get older. Wonderful poem, and it's wonderful how things turned out. Love coming here.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Di. The most important thing I gave him was love and encouragement. He always knew that he is my universe and that there is nothing I would not do for him.
Delete"Colorful Lego bricks scattered
ReplyDeletelike confetti on the ground."
Wonderful visual. Tender words.
wonderful sentiment of your love ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rose.
DeleteThis is a very touching poem. It is so hard to see a hurting child, especially our own. If only we can shield them from the pain...
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
It is painful.... Thanks .
DeleteYup! It's not what we say--it's how we make them feel, that they will never forget. And how I failed so miserably in that.
ReplyDeleteThe feeling of this poem is going to bed now with me--and my smile!
Thanks.
PEACE!
It takes a big man to admit that he was wrong. I appreciate your honesty my friend..... And it's never too late.
DeleteThis is just so full of love and grace Ayala. Your sons are both fortunate to have you as their mom. Beautiful, simply beautiful, it pulls at my heartstrings.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary. I am the one blessed to have them.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ashok
Deleteok, I really didn't feel like crying now, but darn it, Ayala, this brought on the water works! Your poem is top-notch first of all, and the sentiment is so tender and pull's at this mother's heart strings. I was a child who had promises broken to me and I try so hard not to repeat those same mistakes. It is better to say no than to say yes and never do it, I suppose - especially in situations such as this where the promises are broken repeatedly.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry Sheila . I know how heartbreaking it is to be let down over and over again. That's why we must always break the chain and cycle and not repeat those mistakes. Thank you.
DeleteThis gives me the chills. There are way too many absent dads but I'm so glad you found him a new one. There are enough empty promises in life!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Victoria . I'm happy I did :)
DeleteI loved both the poem and the sotry behind it. Although I am a dad who's very present in his children's lives, there are thousands of men out there who have been fathers to children they didn't create. And that's never dimminished them. Let's hear for those men, too. And for the women who write so brilliantly about them.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Yes, let's hear it for them... Those are good men :) and thank you.
DeleteEnjoyed this story about your journey Ayala ~ I know how proud you are of your son's achievements ~ And yes, I agree, don't give promises you can't keep ~
ReplyDeleteThank you, Grace . :)
DeleteThe visual image of the legos falling on the ground like confetti is vivid and lovely. You must be so proud Ayala. What an endearing poem and a great tribute to your family dynamic.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rudri. Xoxo
DeleteThis was amazing ... I wish you guys a happy life ahead :-)
ReplyDeleteAmazing poem and words!
ReplyDelete:)
Thank you so much. :)
Deletethanks for sharing a beautiful poem
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ashok.
Delete(my earlier comment went missing!)
ReplyDeleteThanks for trying again :) I appreciate it.
DeleteThis is so touching, Ayala. Your heart is just beautiful...it came through here so clearly. Your children are so fortunate to have a mother such as you.
ReplyDeletePeace, my friend...
Thank you, Gayle. Your words are kind.
DeleteBless you for sharing such treasures with all of us! I love you.
ReplyDeleteAloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < 3 3 3 ( ' >
><}}(°> ~
Thank you, Cloudia. xo
DeleteA beatiful and moving poem...loved the closing line! Thank you for sharing your journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. :)
DeleteAyala, wow this got me. As someone who had a mother who nourished me with "books and love" and a father who came into my my (and has now passed away) later I can relate to you and Josh. I will tell you this, I firmly believe if a child has unconditional love from just one parent, they never feel without. And I feel whatever loss or lack there is is often made up for with drive to make your parent proud, to show the world. Look at him! And yet, I saw in my mother what you describe that sense of concern wondering if she had enough (money or love or whatever it was) but she and you parented very well. What a great poem to start my day.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lauren. Kudos to your mom. Unconditional love is everything and we had it and gave it with all our hearts. xo
Deletewonderful write about a mother's love.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leslie.
Delete"I want to shield his heart" made me tear up. If only we could be armor for them. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIf only we could. Thanks, Dana. xo
DeleteI tried to comment earlier I don't think it came through, so I will try this again. What a wonderful moment in time for you and your family. I hope that many more such as these blossom in the future!
ReplyDelete